Fatherhood and Love by Alexandra Macht

Author:Alexandra Macht
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9783030203580
Publisher: Springer International Publishing

Ben describes above how guilt motivates both family members to create necessary readjustments after a conflict, in order to re-establish love since closeness was momentarily compromised in their relationship.

Possessiveness

Reflecting on possessiveness5 in fathers’ emotional discourses, revealed the intermingling of love and power in intimate relationships. In these cases, possessiveness was intimately linking the child’s whole being to the father’s sense of self and was preponderantly incorporated into how Romanian fathers constructed love and how they legitimated it, compared to Scottish fathers. Possessiveness was shown by exclamations such as ‘he’s mine/my child’, but which had to be tempered. For example, Nelu (Romanian, resident, 34) associated possessiveness with an ‘ego boost’ which had to be kept under control:Yes, I tell him I love him but I don’t know how to tell him. I have a feeling of attachment. We are together, we love each other, and we do things one for the other. Theorizing this doesn’t work for me. He’s simply my son and I love him. I’m not trying. Even if I have some tendency I try to stomp this genetic tendency down, this ‘He’s my boy!’ [makes a grumpy, determined voice] because I don’t think it’s fair. It creates some premises (…) I’d prefer it, if he is himself whoever he might become and then I try not to think of it as ‘He’s my boy!’ [grumpy, determined voice again]. Only when I’m joking, yes.

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